The Problem
When you have neglected Islam for too long, and one day you wake up with anxiety knowing that you are not on the right path anymore. You come to that realization after spending too long living far away from the message of Islam, adopting ideologies, psychology, values and lifestyles which are not in synch with Islam. At a pivotal point, doubts and uncertainties about your current lifestyle gnaw at you. That spiritual emptiness, once a dot, becomes a gulf within you, and your surroundings can no longer fill that ache that something is missing.
Yet you already feel that you have been towed away too far by the currents of your lifestyle and sins. While you fear for your soul, you feel that you’re not ready to become a better Muslim because your lifestyle is too far away.
The admission of your weakness of faith is real, and this is an immense challenge for those who want to be a better Muslim but feel as if they do not have it within them to change. The second obstacle is caused by your own bad habits – what you are accustomed or addicted to, and the fear that you may not be willing or able to eliminate these from your life. Something is making you glued to your circumstances, discouraging you from being a better Muslim. The third obstacle is from Shaitan, who persistently plants ideas in your head to undermine your goodness and abilities. He infiltrates your various points of weaknesses – by making you doubt your own strength, or by magnifying the importance of a non-Islamic lifestyle, or to make the wrong things beloved to you. The situation is more muddled when your perception of right and wrong have been obscured through your own lack of knowledge and shaky faith.
The good news is that Allah is ready to accept your repentance and to accept you back into the folds of His mercy.
So the real obstacle is you. What causes your hesitation? What fear is holding you back? Are you afraid to receive guidance, to be forgiven, or to knock on the door of mercy? Are you afraid to be good?
Whatever the obstacle is, don’t persuade yourself that you are not ready. If the future of your soul worries you, it means that Allah has not turned His back on you, and that He is waiting for you to turn towards Him. It means that deep down, your spiritual heart is still beating and now it wants to be heard.
All of us have sinned, publicly and privately. All of us have different obstacles and temptations. Don’t say that you’re not ready to make that change. Allah is merciful and generous. Don’t psyche yourself into believing that you cannot be a different person. Fear of change is one of the tools of Shaitan, whereas Allah constantly tests us by removing us from our comfort zones so that our true mettle shines.
The Solutions
1. Be humble
The main components of being a better Muslims are humbleness and humility. Islam means submission to Allah, which requires us to strip away our illusion of self sufficiency, and to acknowledge His greatness, power, wisdom and mercy.
Be honest with Allah about the root of your fear and reluctance. Instead of telling Him that you’re not ready, why not complain to Allah about what the true issue is, and why you feel that this is not the time to switch your lifestyle. Admit to Him what is it is that is making you stuck to your status quo. He was the One who created you, and He already knows the situation that you are in, whether you tell Him or not. You are seeing your situation from eye level, but He sees the situation in all its totality, across time and circumstances, including things about yourself which you don’t even know.
However, on your part, you need to call out to Him sincerely for help.
When you say that you are not ready, whether you articulate it or not, it indicates a trace of stubbornness within you. Stubbornness against change for the better, against doing things differently according to what Allah wants and not what you want. You are sub-consciously implying that your lack of readiness cannot be solved by Allah. However, whatever the sins you have committed, and however addicted you are to the wrong things in life, Allah can reverse that condition according to how humble you are willing to be for Him. He can alter you, and He can alter those around you.
Are you afraid of losing your status with the people? Are you afraid of losing your identity if you become a better Muslim? Are you afraid of your family or friends turning against you? Are you afraid that your work and income will be affected? Are you afraid for your own personal safety? Are you afraid that people will ridicule you? Whatever the hidden concern, no matter how serious or trivial issue may seem, address these issues with Allah. Confront your fears instead of hiding behind the excuse of unpreparedness. You will find that many of your doubts are unfounded and that Allah has the solution for all the issues that you are worried about – it being a solution that benefits you in dunia and akhirah, and not just a solution that gives you a temporary buzz in dunia.
Even if you are genuinely not ready to be a better Muslim, ask Allah to make you ready, and to give you strength and ability and guidance. The rest will fall into place, insha Allah.
2. Find a good environment
To ease your journey to becoming a better Muslim, seek good company or a good environment.
According to Hadith compiled by Bukhari, there was a man who had murdered ninety nine people. He felt remorse and went to a learned man and told him about his past, explaining that he wished to repent and become a better person. He asked if Allah would forgive him.
Unfortunately, the scholar was not happy with what he had learnt, and said that the man would not be pardoned. “Then I may as well kill you, too,” said the man, and killed the scholar.
He then found another learned person and told him that he had killed a hundred people. He asked if Allah would forgive him if he repented. The wise man replied that he would indeed be pardoned and counselled him to repent as soon as possible, but in addition, also advised that he should avoid the company of wicked people and mix with good people, for bad company leads one into sin.
The man sincerely implored Allah to pardon him. Then, implementing the advice to shun the bad company, he set off to find a community where righteous people lived.
On the way, he died. The angels of punishment and of mercy both came to claim his soul. The angels of punishment said that as a sinful person he rightfully belonged to them, but the angels of mercy argued that he repented and had resolved to become a good man. He was on his way to a place where righteous people lived, but his moment of death came. A great debate ensued, and another angel was to arbitrate.
After hearing both sides he gave this verdict: “Measure the ground. If the spot where he died is closer to the good people, then he belongs to the angels of mercy, but if it is nearer to the wicked people, he will be given to the angels of punishment.”
They measured the ground and he was found to be closer to the city of the good people. That penitent servant was handed over to the angels of mercy.
There is a lot to take away from the above hadith – not least that even a serial killer is able to seek repentance. However, repentance has to be followed by reform. To do this, you have to seek and be in good company. The advice of the second learned man was to emigrate to the land of goodness: to move to a purer environment so that his spiritual rehabilitation can start. No one who wants to be in a state of goodness can be good in the wrong company, because habits rub off on each other and can set you back.
You have to emigrate from the bad and head towards the good. Even if you cannot move away physically, disassociate or reduce yourself from these people the best you can and try to spend more time with people who are beneficial for your journey to Islam.
You can be alone and still be in bad company depending on the kind of material you are reading or watching, what you watch on your phone or TV screens, and how you spend your free time. Hence, be careful even when you are alone. Seek out people and things which can revive your soul and keep you away from evil acts. The more you distance yourself from the bad and make yourself closer to the good, the more strength and goodness you will absorb from your new surroundings.
3. Reach out to Allah
The third is to remember Allah constantly by performing zikrullah, if possible, out loud. The ability of zikrullah to empower you and conquer your inner demons cannot be overstated. Increase your “conversations” with Allah by admitting your own needy status. Engage in supplications or du’a. Additionally, spend money on the path of Allah by giving abundantly in charity and supporting good deeds. Find good quality charity organisations and activities that you can busy yourself with, and spend generously, whether with money, time or energy, for the sake of Allah.
What’s next?
Humility, the remembrance of Allah and charity are all acts beloved to Allah. Even if you feel that a lifestyle change is beyond you at this point in time, focus on these three actions first. If you want Allah’s help, precede it by doing the things that Allah loves.
The power of humility cannot be underestimated. Recall the reaction of Adam AS, who, after having eaten from the forbidden tree, admitted his disobedience and sought Allah’s forgiveness and guidance. Contrast this against Shaitan, who blamed Allah for his own disobedience and refused to humble himself to Allah.
Allah knows what we love, what we hate, what inspires us and what demotivates us. He is the one who crafted you to be the person you are today. Yet there is still a mental and emotional block within us, mostly because we are scared that the journey of Islam might entail losing something that we love. We are afraid that if we find Islam, we will lose our happiness – the happiness that is derived from the love of Allah’s creation and the one that is derived from being noticed by Allah’s creation. We are afraid that if we redefine ourselves as better Muslims, we will be faced with alienation or rejection from the things that we place our emotional dependence upon.
Many of these insecurities are unfounded. We misapply our understanding of happiness, believing it to come from the objects of our desire rather than from Allah. If we seek Allah and ally ourselves to Him, Allah will be there for us. We may think that certain things give us identity and security, but as our Creator, He knows best how to give us happiness in this world and the next. Our challenge is to trust Him in arranging our life affairs, and from there ride it out in the life that He planned for us. There is not a single person in this world, who, having become better Muslims, ended up unhappier than their previous states – for a true Muslim has the inherent ability to feel genuine peace, self confidence, happiness and tranquility even if he owns nothing in this world. This feeling is indescribable.
If you say that you want to be a better Muslim, it means that you are ready. Whatever it is that you have done in the past, Allah has put it in your heart that it is time for a change. He is telling you that you are ready, now. If you trust in Allah and take the next steps towards Him, you will be amazed by how wonderful that journey back to Him will be.
