Dawah to family is delicate.
The best is by your own good manner, respect and good conduct, to win the heart of the person in front of you. You cannot win someone’s heart with a sermon or a speech. The best way is to do it with action, because action is more powerful than speech. Once the action is performed, with good manner and patience, accompanied by du’a, after a while Allah will unite the hearts. After that, He will open the heart towards you and if Allah opens the heart, now you can start the proper da’wah.
Da’wah to the neighbours, colleagues or other non-Muslims, is based on the same principle. We have to be patient and trust in Allah. Study the conduct of Rasulullah SAW and the Companions, including how they dealt with their families and other tribes.
If Allah does not give the green light which opens the hearts of others towards you, you have to be patient and wait. You cannot confront your friends and say that they are wrong – this is a taboo word and should be avoided when talking about Islam.
We now lack respect for the elders, and we think that if we attend a talk or read a book, we get a ticket to Paradise even though we don’t implement what we have learned. The correct way is to learn the knowledge, be steadfast in its implementation, try to invite towards what we know, and finally, practice patience, especially when dealing with parents, relatives and the elderly.
We only invite with kindness and generosity. It is not right for us to simply preach the rules and then judge those we have spoken to for failing to abide by then. A rich person may complain about the state of poverty whereas he is not spending a cent to alleviate the suffering of the poor. It is the same with the people of knowledge, who claim that they know everything, but are not responsible in passing that knowledge in the correct way and manner, and instead become very harsh on others.
We are just inviters to goodness and have to discharge this duty carefully. We start by inviting towards Allah, not imposing the commands of Allah. Invite towards the love of Allah and the love of Rasulullah SAW. When the faith is cultivated in their hearts, now it is time to feed the regulations and injunctions little by little. The hijab came into force about 15-17 years after the first revelation. If we have given someone da’wah for a month, we cannot rush them or download more information that they can handle. Salah, fasting and hajj were introduced progressively according to the spiritual readiness of the Muslims at the time.
Once a Companion spotted a group of people giving a hard time to someone who was drinking alcohol. He reprimanded them for being too harsh on the man, because their job at that time was to remind him how merciful Allah is, not to condemn him.
Majority of those who engage in da’wah are in need of da’wah themselves. They perform da’wah in an impatient and arrogant way, which has nothing to do with the sunnah. Remember that the one who considers himself pious might die in a state of sin, whereas the other person who is looked down upon might die in a state of repentance.
Don’t feel satisfied just because you have spread knowledge of what is right. It has to be done with wisdom, with looking down on ourselves and up to others.
Da’wah to the family needs a lot of humility, patience and kindness while waiting for Allah to open for you. Muhammad SAW cried over his uncle who died without embracing Islam, and Allah reminded him that He does not give guidance to whom one loves, but to whom He wants. We are merely inviters, spreading goodness. We are like farmers, and have to accept that some seeds will grow and some others won’t. When we forget who we are, we will forget to continuously build our iman. Only Allah knows who will die in the right state of iman, with a good and happy ending. This is why we have to be very watchful of how we conduct ourselves.
Guidance, like food and shelter, is a gift from Allah. How can you be arrogant over something that does not belong to you? If you think that you are guided because you are a good person, you have already committed a sin.
Spread mercy, not harshness
In relation to non-Muslims – we can hate the disbelief, but not the disbeliever. Otherwise, how can you pass da’wah to those you hate? It is this love of humankind that allows us to deal with others with compassion. Look at how Rasulullah SAW dealt with others, even the Jews and the non-believers. He even extended his kindness to those who were oppressing him.
Neighbours in general, whether Muslim or non-Muslim, have rights over us. If we observed the protocol in treating our neighbours, people will surely be attracted to Islam.
We cannot teach others in a hasty or arrogant manner, or pick up a new piece of knowledge which we demand everyone else to implement immediately. Sometimes, we have the knowledge, but we don’t have the manner to spread it. We should ask Allah to give us the manner and wisdom, and even the rights attached to the knowledge, according to our level and the level of the people that we talk to. Allah may have given us, but we cannot expect that Allah will allow us to give others exactly what He has given us. You can invite another to a good deed, but in the meantime, he may not be ready to implement it. You then get impatient, start backbiting and cut off the relationship. What is the gain in that?
A man used to drink alcohol in the time of Rasulullah SAW. Umar RA wanted to punish this man severely. Rasulullah SAW cautioned Umar RA to leave him alone, because this man loved Allah and his Messenger (SAW) even if he was in a state of sin. Look at the mercy.
Sometimes we intend to do good but cause destruction instead. Do not bombard too many regulations on a non-Muslim, because he might not be able to handle it. It is the same with a Muslim whose iman is weak. The priority is to build up that person’s faith, instead of flooding him with injunctions that he is not at a stage to fulfil. Remember that many of the regulations are addressed to the believers specifically, and not to mankind in general. We have to utilise wisdom, because otherwise, the da’wah efforts will backfire and cause more damage than good.
Wait for the green light: a sign from Allah. You will find yourself talking in a gentle manner. When people are attracted to you, listen to you and seek your company, then you can impart the knowledge in small steps. You don’t force-feed the baby with food he is not ready to digest. Similarly, we can’t give an ill person a huge meal. It may be healthy for them theoretically, but if given at the wrong time it can kill them.
Constantly make du’a for them, but don’t think that because you are doing that, you are superior to them in any way. Don’t engage in da’wah with the intention that you are better than them because you don’t know what is in store for you or the other person.
Da’wah is the work of Allah SWT. Allah gave quality to Rasulullah SAW as a mercy to mankind. Be merciful to what is on the earth and Allah will be merciful to you, because only the merciful will obtain the mercy of Allah.
At work, do not be in a state of hypocrisy and expect your co-workers to have respect for you or Islam. Behave with the intention that Allah is watching. Your steadfastness and sincerity will open the road for you.
These are basic common sense principles, but this is the genuine da’wah. Connect yourself to Allah and be humble to the gift that Allah gave. Remember that we are the slaves of Allah. We are merely doing what our Master wants us to do, not what we want to do and feel like doing.
Nuh AS preached for 950 years and barely anyone paid heed. Very few people followed the path of Isa AS during his time on earth. Rasulullah SAW preached for 13 years daily, and less than 100 people embraced Islam during this time. The main da’wah originated in Mecca, but Islam flourished in Madinah and the core supporters of Islam were in Madinah. Allah is teaching us that we have a job to do, but the result is His business, not ours. We can work in one place and Allah can spread your words to another location, which you never intended.
We do not look for the physical results of the victory of Allah, but we believe that Allah is watching as we carry our message. Otherwise, we will get disheartened and we will not continue. Only Allah has the power to achieve the opening for us, but only if we trust in Him. We are just farmers and we keep ploughing on. We have to do what we should do in the face of hostility and resistance, continue with determination, kindness and generosity.
May Allah put in our hearts the right responsibility and to work purely for Him in His way, with complete faith and tawakkul (surrender). Barakah and light are from Allah alone.
