Why Can’t I Stay Devout?
Sometimes we find it difficult to sustain a constant and long term routine of obedience to Allah.
We may have all experienced it or seen it at one point or another. There are times, when we have reconnected with God, or have undergone an intense experience, it leads to short term improvements in habits and behaviour. For a period of time, we go into a period of worship and obedience.
But then the changes are temporary and the interest dies. Maintaining the routine becomes a struggle.
From High to Low
Usually, when we get excited about something, we try to implement too many things at once. In matters of Islam, this often resulting in radical but unsustainable changes – going cold turkey, or implementing extreme changes, without being spiritually prepared for it.
An extremist approach usually causes more harm than good. The new found spiritual euphoria will eventually lose its momentum, and worshipping becomes burdensome rather than uplifting. A spiritual burnout can result in extreme cases, or less dramatic, the interest simply fizzles away. It becomes difficult to continue, and then we slowly start neglecting our worship.
Having fallen off the moral high horse, we can also fluctuate to the other extreme and neglect Islam. Sometimes, it even makes us cross boundaries that were off limits previously. That is, until the next round when something brings us closer to God, and the cycle repeats itself.
Moderation is the Key
The key to spreading Islam is through mercy and moderation. In the early days, Islam was implemented through mercy, not by force or harshness. A wise person will not push another beyond limits, but instead will encourage him to apply Islam in reasonable portions, based on individual ability and strength of faith. By the same token, that mercy of implementation should also apply to yourself.
If you want to sustain, do not implement Islam with severity. Go easy on yourself, and make your spiritual progress slowly but constantly. Allow yourself to absorb and get accustomed to the new pattern of behaviour in small steps. If you are new to Islam or are rediscovering it after a long period of absence, think of it as learning a new language. If you were to try and cram everything all at once, your mind and your body would not be able to cope. Long term sustainability is the key, and the most sustainable actions are those done in small but consistent steps.
Constantly strive, but don’t push yourself over the limit. The Prophet (SAW) said, “The dearest of actions to Allah is that which is done regularly, even if it is small.”(Al Bukhari and Muslim)
The Qur’an was revealed over the course of 23 years. The sequence of revelation gave space for people to accept and adapt, to understand the nature of Allah, prior to the adherence of rules and regulations. Had the entire Qur’an been revealed to mankind in one go, it would have been a shock to everyone’s systems, and personal implementation of its teachings would have been impossible for the majority.
Therefore, understand that the entire practice of Islam cannot be downloaded into your system overnight. If you try to do this, you are setting yourself to fail. Instead, set realistic aims. For example, work on developing constant habits on the mandatory aspects of worship first. Don’t force yourself to perform the nawafil prayers before you have established a constant routine on the obligatory ones. Grasp one small issue at a time, and use these as building blocks for a solid foundation before you take the next step.
Abu Hurairah RA reported that the Prophet SAW said, “The deen is easy. Anyone who makes the deen too hard on himself will find it becomes too much for him. So aim for what is right, follow a middle path, accept the good news of the reward for right action, and seek help [to reach your goal by being constant in worshipping] in the morning, evening and some of the night.” (Bukhari)
For some of us, it is also often the case that when we have rediscovered Islam or acquire a new piece of knowledge, we become critical and judgmental towards others. We feel as if everyone else is going the wrong direction and we look down on them. This is extremely dangerous. It is often that such people, whose arrogance has overshadowed humility, are those who make the worst mistakes and fall the hardest. Therefore, never feel arrogant, but always remain humble to Allah, for without His will and mercy, you would be travelling down an entirely different spiritual path.
Knowledge, worship and faith
Islam, and developing the characteristics of a Muslim, is an ongoing journey. The mistake that many of us make is to focus entirely on the outer characteristics of worship and simply implement the elements of rituals and regulations, halal and haram, without making inner improvements to ourselves first.
Worshipping is a means to an end. The aim is to establish our closeness to Allah by doing the things that please Him. Hence, when we are on our journey of Islam, developing characteristics such as kindness, mercy, generosity, compassion and patience is as crucial as rituals of worship. The building blocks of the Islamic characteristics are what give substance to the acts of worship.
Islam does not simply reside in the heart and with the prayer mat being its physical boundary. Belief is always coupled with action, and action does not stop at the rituals. It is something which continues in all aspects of our daily lives’ by way of striving and sacrificing for Allah, by helping others, being generous with your wealth, guarding your tongue and being sensitive to those in need. In short, when you undergo your journey, your personality should also transform positively, this also involving the gradual eradication of bad habits and traits.
Keep this simple principle of self development in the forefront of your mind, because otherwise you may immerse yourself in rituals and forget their fundamental aim behind them. For example, we may be reciting Qur”an all night long, working to improve our pronunciation, but not implementing what its verses tell us to do. Hence, recitation becomes a ritual, and boredom sets in.
A true journey of faith entails developing the love for Allah and the connection to Him. Experiencing the sweetness of iman is what gives us the motivation to worship. When the heart is filled with the love for Allah, performing the rituals of worship then becomes easy and sustainable.
Develop a two way relationship
Also, seek useful knowledge: knowledge which will help you get closer to Allah. Study, for example, how the Companions used to live, their excellent manners and the depth of their faith. Strive to improve your behaviour and everyday attitudes.
Constantly refresh your knowledge of Allah. Surah Al Baqarah, 2:152 states “So remember Me; I will remember you.” It is a two way relationship, and as long as you keep your end of the deal, Allah will keep His.
Read books which explain the virtues of remembrance of Allah. Acquaint yourself to who it is that you are worshipping, and your worship will transform from something abstract into something palpable. Contemplate often about Allah’s mercy, and when confronted with a problem, turn to Allah for help. When something good occurs, turn to Allah and thank Him. In short, work on your relationship with Allah, and keep Allah on your mind in everything that you do.
There is a very inspirational Hadith, narrated Abu Hurairah RA: The Prophet said, “Allah says: ‘I am just as My slave thinks I am, (i.e. I am able to do for him what he thinks I can do for him) and I am with him if He remembers Me. If he remembers Me in himself, I too, remember him in Myself; and if he remembers Me in a group of people, I remember him in a group that is better than they; and if he comes one span nearer to Me, I go one cubit nearer to him; and if he comes one cubit nearer to Me, I go a distance of two outstretched arms nearer to him; and if he comes to Me walking, I go to him running.’ ” (Bukhari)
It shows that for every effort you make, Allah’s response will be larger in magnitude – but the effort has to be initiated by you. At the point where the relationship with Allah is established and worshipping Him takes you to a whole new different level of serenity and happiness, you will realise that all the effort was worth it. From this tipping point, sustaining it will no longer be an issue, but rather, a joy, insha Allah.
