Islam and Society

FORMING RELATIONSHIPS – WHO DO WE CHOOSE?

Who is the lucky one?

What are the criteria when we allow people to affect us? What is positive and what is negative? The answer depends on who we want to be and what our goal in life is. The lucky one is the one who structures his life from a spiritual point of view.

It is ideal to be governed by constitution and purpose of life, to have a self identity, which leads one to his goal and what he wants to achieve in this life and in the hereafter. If this is the case, his emotions, feelings, thinking, the kind of people who accompany him, the kind of people who he allows to influence or direct him, will be governed by all of the above.

One’s goal and identity allows him to try and seek the right literature, the right person, the right company, the one who can affect him in a way to help him to guard, nurture and achieve his spiritual goal – his success in this life and in the hereafter.

Even his love, his hate, his likes, his dislikes will be all governed by his goal, what he wants to achieve and who he wants to be.

This awareness is crucial for his salvation. If he has a spiritual goal in this life, he will seek the one who has a positive influence on him, the one who stays true to his spiritual goal and the ones who can inspire, educate and guide him.

On the other hand, the unfortunate one has no identity, goal, constitution or guidance. If he has no goal in life, does he pay attention to kind of criteria he applies in seeking his companions? That is why he is vulnerable to negative external influences, which disrupt the stability in his life. His life becomes a merry go round of ups and downs and a jumble of emotions, swaying towards the random direction of his latest acquaintances.

Which side are you on?

You’re lucky at this moment if you think – which category do I fall under? The lucky one, or the unlucky one, a combination of both?

The majority of people drift between one and the other.

Can we succeed if we have a combination of both? We cannot balance between relationships, which build, and the ones destroy us. If we take our lives seriously, we must also be circumspect about who we call to accompany us. We must pick a side and decide who we want to be.

We have to define ourselves, one way or another, and determine whether we are aiming for success or to loss. From there, we will know the people whom we would like to affect and influence us.

One last thing …

Do we want to go through our life forging the wrong relationships and exposing ourselves to the wrong influences, or do we want to seek people who guide, inspire and strengthen us?

We are the gatekeepers of our own souls, and we should constantly be vigilant of the ones we permit into the private and vulnerable spheres of our minds and hearts.

If we are sincere, we should seek the company of those who will help us achieve salvation in this life and in the hereafter.

We should give careful thought about the ones in our lives who will help us attain and maintain the spiritual momentum we need. We should be confident that the ones who influence our hearts, minds and behavior are the taking us along the right road. We should constantly assess whether we are absorbing the correct kind of influence.

And likewise, are our hearts, minds and behavior taking others along the right road? Are we sure that we are projecting, giving and showing the correct kind of influence?

The next time you meet someone, mentally run through the following checklist:

Who am I? Who is he?
What can I gain from him? What can he gain from me?
Where are we going? Where am I going?
Am I serious about my journey? Is he serious about his journey?
Can I define myself? Has he defined himself?
Can I focus? Is he focused?

This simple test can make all the difference in your life.

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