On the authority of Abu Hurayrah (RA), who said that the Messenger of Allah (SAW) said: The gates of Paradise will be opened on Mondays and on Thursdays, and every servant [of Allah] who associates nothing with Allah will be forgiven, except for the man who has a grudge against his brother. [About them] it will be said: Delay these two until they are reconciled; delay these two until they are reconciled. It was related by Muslim (also by Malik and Abu Dawud).
Apply this to neighbours, husbands and wives, children and parents, in fact everyone. According to the fiqh of this understanding, when Allah receives the deeds of this person, He will ask the angels to put those deeds aside until the Day of Judgment, or until the people are reconciled and have fixed their behaviour. On the Day of Judgement, Allah will ask why you are upset with the other person, and if Allah finds that you have a legitimate excuse, then it is up to Allah’s mercy and wisdom to accept your deeds or not. Now think of your acrimonious behaviour against those you dislike, and the ones you refused to forgive even if they apologise, and whether these will be valid excuses to Allah. Is this not scary?
Anas ibn Malik (RA) reported: We were sitting with the Messenger of Allah, peace and blessings be upon him, and he said, “Coming upon you now is a man from the people of Paradise.” Aman from the Ansar came whose beard was dishevelled by the water of ablution and he was carrying both of his shoes with his left hand. The next day the Prophet repeated the same words, and the man came in the same condition. The third day the Prophet repeated the same again, and the man came in the same condition. When the Prophet stood up to leave, Abdullah ibn Amr (RA) followed the man and he said, “I am in a dispute with my father and I have sworn not to enter my home for three days. May I stay with you?” The man said yes.
Abdullah stayed three nights with the man but he never saw him praying at night. Whenever he went to bed, he would remember Allah and rest until he woke up for morning prayer. Abdullah said that he never heard anything but good words from his mouth. When three nights had passed and he did not see anything special about his actions, Abdullah asked him, “O servant of Allah, I have not been in dispute with my father nor have I cut relations with him. I heard the Prophet say three times that a man from the people of Paradise was coming to us and then you came. I thought I should stay with you to see what you are doing that I should follow, but I did not see you do anything special. Why did the Prophet speak highly of you?” The man said, “I am as you have seen.” When Abdullah was about to leave, the man said, “I am as you have seen, except that I do not find dishonesty in my soul towards the Muslims and I do not envy anyone because of the good that Allah has given them.” Abdullah said, “This is what you have achieved and it is something we have not accomplished.” (Musnad Aḥmad)
We may claim that we have nothing in our hearts against a particular person, but at the same time, we cannot communicate, be cordial or even give salam to the person who we claim we have nothing against. Instead, we glare and turn away. These are because there are still pockets of hatred and misgivings in our hearts. This behaviour is against what Allah and Rasulullah SAW wants of us.
To unite between people is something that is beloved to Allah. Even lying, which is generally prohibited, is permitted under certain exceptions. The first is as a stratagem during war. The second is between the husband and wife, who are allowed to flatter each other to preserve the sweetness of the household and marriage. The third situation is where a lie is used to unite the people – words which allay anger and soothe troubled waters and mend rifts, and which are done with wisdom (not with the purpose of deepening the fitnah between each other).
Narrated Um Kulthum bint `Uqba: That she heard Allah’s Messenger (SAW) saying, “He who makes peace between the people by inventing good information or saying good things, is not a liar.” (Bukhari)
If Allah is so happy when people reconcile with each other, then what about the one who initiates that reconciliation? Do we believe in it as a concept? Usually when one has a marital concern and seeks advice, the advisor will inflame the situation even further instead of seeking a means of reconciliation. We prefer to add fuel to the fire, by spreading tales and hatred, instead of promoting unity and brotherly love. How many of us have blocked certain people from our lives, to the extent of boycotting social and family gatherings if that other person is invited? Some people even intentionally create conflict between relatives, and every small squabble escalates into a sensational drama. Is this how Allah intended for us to live with each other?
Assess what Allah is using you for – and what comes out of your tongue and heart. Are you spreading peace, harmony and remembrance of Allah, or are you careless about your speech, spend hours rattling nonsense, and causing unnecessary drama? Are you obstructing others from the remembrance of Allah? Allah sees you, so it is best for you to change your direction if this is where you currently are.